A BRIEF OVERVIEW OF HOLOVIDS
Holofilms are individual stories told in audio
and video, typically anywhere from eighty minutes
to three hours in length. Some holofilms are far
shorter, some are far longer, and some are
programmed to affect other senses than sight and
sound (although such holos aren't particularly
popular). Though chemical "film" ceased to be
part of the production process eons ago, the term
"holofilm" retains the reference to its roots.
Viewing a holofilm usually costs about two credits,
seven or more if the film has just been released to
holotheaters and is not yet widely available for
download.
Weekly holoseries are essentially short
holofilms which typically follow a single
storyline and feature recurring characters.
Often produced by the identical process used
for holofilms (but seldom with the same large
scale), holoseries are generally cheap to
produce but provide just as much entertainment
value as most holofilms. The difference is
holoseries cost nothing to view, as they are
aired on set schedules. The only cost is
incurred when a viewer wishes to watch a
particular episode at a set time, in which case
archive access and a download fee are usually
required. Such on-demand holoseries episodes
are not universally available, either.
It is not at all uncommon for the makers of a
popular holoseries to cross over and do a
holofilm based on the series, or vice versa.
More common than holofilms becoming
holoseries, however, are sequels to existing
holofilms. Seldom as popular, sequels
nevertheless draw in sufficient money to
justify their continued production in many
cases.
The following are some significant examples of
each type of holo, with a short description of
each title. The popularity of any holovid varies
from sector to sector, season to season, but
those listed here are among the more prominent
holos for their own individual eras.
HOLOFILMS
"The Rise and Fall of Palpatine's Empire"
*****
A six-hour-long docudrama, this epic masterpiece
was begun shortly after the Battle of Endor and
completed decades later. Its producer/director,
Harnel Grempner, won countless awards for his
obsessively well-researched (and disturbingly
well-acted) account of the Empire's history.
The New Republic government kept a close eye on
production and required Harnel to submit his
final copy for approval, due to the still-
sensitive political information contained in the
film. It has been viewable in holotheaters
ever since its release, a rare honor as most
holofilms are pulled within months. Critics
and holofilm students widely agree that "Rise
and Fall" (as it is referred to for short) is
one of the best holofilms ever made.
"Moisture-Boy: The Luke Skywalker Story"
****
A comic retelling of the life of Jedi Master
Luke Skywalker, "Moisture-Boy" was immensely
popular when it was released shortly after the
"return" of Grand Admiral Thrawn, although some
critics disliked its highly disrespectful tone.
Master Skywalker himself, however, has publicly
expressed his appreciation of the humor.
"The Re-Education of Zak Jepkan"
*****
Banned instantly by the Imperial Board of
Culture when it was released two years before
Alderaan's destruction, "Jepkan" is an offbeat,
dark, and disturbingly realistic portrayal of
a fictional man's brainwashing by the Empire.
Now often a subject of psychological and
ethical discussion, "Jepkan" was during its
time just one of many small jibes at the all-
powerful Empire, and holofeatures of this sort
are to a large degree responsible for sowing
the very first seeds of rebellion.
"Nar Shaddaa Blues"
***1/2
A gratuitously violent holo, "Nar Shaddaa
Blues" is a complex tale of criminal
activities and bizarre individuals. The holo
is perennially popular with adolescents,
though the few actual criminals who have time
for holos find it to be dull and silly.
"Rampage of Love"
****
This bizarre film, written by the Snivvian
Daggbuddle, took years to make -- its perplexing
subject matter sent it from the hands of one
frustrated director to another countless times.
In the end, this resulted in a slightly
disjointed, but generally brilliant piece of
work.
"Moonrise Over Kluistar"
*****
The quintessential love story, "Moonrise
Over Kluistar" is a bittersweet and
surprisingly poignant tale of love gained,
love lost, and love regained. It is one of
the few films not rated "Scarlet" by the
Imperial Board of Culture to which modern
critics give high praise; "Moonrise Over
Kluistar" is that rare holofilm that a
Human of any age, and most nonhumans, can
enjoy.
"Ol' Blue Skin"
****1/2
This mockumentary (chronicling the alleged
early life of Thrawn as a lounge singer) never
attained widespread popularity, but holobuffs
the galaxy over admire its witty writing,
not to mention the fantastic performance of
actor Dack Narjub, who still occasionally
wears the red contact lenses in public.
"Line Squad Alpha"
***
This basically brainless holofilm nevertheless
attained immense popularity when it was
released -- the high-octane action blew
audiences away, and star Jep Staona became an
instant star. His subsequent holos have all
been compared to "Line Squad Alpha," which has
yet to be superceded.
"I Married Xim"
****
A comic retelling of the age-old tales of Xim
the Despot from the point of view of his
fictional wife, Zeema, "I Married Xim" was
popular when it was released a decade before
Palpatine took power, but later generations
have failed to see the interest due to the
film's timely humor. The film stars Veena
Chaima, wife of prominent holovid producer
Rhon Chaima (who disappeared less than two
years later).
"Saving Ensign Lynch"
****1/2
A very pro-Imperial war film, "Saving Ensign
Lynch" stars recording artist Chase Madera,
best known as the one-hit wonder who produced
the single "I'll Protect the Galaxy (For
You)", as the sniper. The film was praised
for its remarkably realistic portrayal of
the battlefield.
"Whither Coruscant?"
***
This wacky comedy, starring Chase Madera in
multiple roles, got a "scarlet" rating after
the Emperor saw Madera's dead-on (and highly
insulting) impression of him. After this
film became restricted, Chase Madera
"vanished" into obscurity.
The "Jerry the Jedi" Series
"Jerry the Jedi" **1/2
"Jerry the Jedi Goes to Fondor" *1/2
"Jerry the Jedi & The Wooden Lightsaber" *
"Jerry the Jedi Meets Mari the Jedi" *
"Jerry the Jedi Goes Mynock Huntin'" *
"Jerry the Jedi Saves Coruscant" 1/2
This abysmally idiotic film series began
with the marginally entertaining "Jerry the
Jedi" and got worse as the sequels spilled
out. No one knows how the films keep
getting made; each one bombs in the
theaters and the last two never even went
to theaters to begin with. The actor who
plays Jerry the Jedi, Steve Bleppo, has no
other career and is the target of endless
parody by other, cleverer comedians.
WEEKLY HOLOSERIES
"Ryloth Place"
**
A popular series with adolescents, Ryloth Place
chronicles fashionable, young, conniving Twi'leks
and their lives, loves, and schemes.
"Starburst Nights"
**
A knockoff of "Ryloth Place," this holosoap has
been running for decades, necessitating different
actors to portray the same roles. Chase Madera
spent a season on "Starburst Nights" before his
disappearance.
"Who Are You To Accuse Me?"
***
A very popular comedy centered around the wacky
exploits of the rich and powerful, "Accuse Me"
features a cast of nobles, high-ranking
Imperials, and the occasional whimsical beggar.
"Undercity"
*****
This critically acclaimed and reasonably
popular series is set in the lower levels of
Coruscant and follows a small circle of
regular characters of various races and
professions. "Undercity" premiered in the
later years of the Empire and was banned
immediately by COMPNOR, but now enjoys more
public exhibition. Its gritty realism and
supremely crafted tension hook viewers who
are tough enough to watch it (it's not very
popular in the Core at all).
"Ship of Love"
**
A long-running hour-long drama, "Ship of Love"
premiered just before Chancellor Valorum's
election, enjoyed its best ratings during the
Empire and aired its final episode many years
before the Galactic Civil War erupted. Filmed
aboard the actual cruise liner "The Ralis
Queen," "Ship of Love" featured a famous guest
star each week, but the regular characters
remained the same, constantly getting embroiled
in love affairs with one another. Now, in the
era of rebellion, "Ship of Love" is almost
synonymous with "passe."
"Troops"
**1/2
A popular, long-running "reality" series,
"Troops" is remarkably cheap to produce -- in
essence, the half-hour program is just a camera
droid following around various stormtrooper
squads across the galaxy. Many holonetworks
air "Troops" episodes several times daily, and
every so often a "Troops" on-location special
is produced to boost ratings ("Troops in Imperial
City" and "Troops on Kothlis" being two recent
specials). The Empire officially sanctioned the
series, feeling it was a generally harmless
extension of the New Order, but some episodes
have been banned due to political repercussions.
One such episode, in which the cause of death of
Luke Skywalker's adopted parents on Tatooine is
revealed, exists only in the form of underground
copies made from the never-released master.
"Laugh Station Live"
****
This long-running live comedy series has
started many a young talent on the road to
stardom and sent equally many down the path to
obscurity. The quality of the hour-long show
depends upon the cast, which changes gradually
as seasons progress, but generally it is one of
the better-written comedy holoseries. Each
week, "Laugh Station Live" also allots about
ten minutes to a new musician or musical group;
a gig on "Laugh Station" usually results in
certain popularity for some duration of time,
and many viewers enjoy watching archaic episodes
to see the ridiculously out-of-date acts (and
jokes).
"Dr. Doodad"
*
This action-oriented series centers around
the handsome and charming Dr. Doodad, an
engineer with a heart of gold and the
technological know-how to accomplish any feat
with whatever junk happens to be lying
around. Each week, Dr. Doodad and his
wisecracking Sullustan sidekick Jeebo help
an individual or group in distress and
then move on to help someone else. Most
critics detest the holo's brainless writing,
but it maintains a steady fan base.
"The Brenns"
****
Situation comedies centered around the family
are common, but few have endured longer than
this series about a middle-class Human
family and their irritable Shistavanen
neighbors. Winner of 10 Golden Galaxy awards,
"The Brenns" has run continuously since just
before the subjugation of Mantooine.
"Beyond the Stars With Professor Gulmor"
*****
Easily the most popular nonfiction holoseries
in history, "Beyond the Stars" allows couch
potatoes on Coruscant and moisture farmers
on Tatooine an opportunity to take a weekly
excursion to a new planet or system. Hosted
by Professor Gulmor, an actual Mrissi
professor of galactic culture, "Beyond the
Stars" has run for longer than many humans
have been alive. Gulmor is the second host
of the show, the first (Professor Wergner
of Corellia) having died during production
of Episode 783, "Alderaan: Planet of Peace."
"Aliens: Enemies and Allies"
***1/2
This animated series deftly combines
sarcastic humor and genuinely tense action.
While not popular with most Humans and many
other demographic groups, the show has enough
appeal to keep it on the air, though it
wouldn't have maintained legitimacy for a day
under the Empire. Set on a free-trader
freighter, "AEA" has a large cast of recurring
characters and prides itself on equal
opportunity mockery of races. Most popular
are the Bimm pickpocket, the Wookiee masseuse,
the Human sex offender, and the Hutt cook.