In the town description, all we have so far is:

"The town is somewhat small, and there are a lot of drab and dreary structures."

My, how inspiring (yawn)...

Well, let's figure out what we can do here. We already know what the weather is like, and it's pretty overbearing. If we want to make a truly interesting place, why not make on that has to accomodate the weather? Re-designing simple things to make them accomodate something normally unnoticeable can get interesting - let's make the town accomodate the weather, shall we? Here's my attempt at that, and as you read it, note all the simple things that alter drastically when you force something to conform to another...

"The cities are dirty. Muddy, to be more specific. All the buildings wear a low slung skirt of dirty water and mud, splashed on by heavy rains and passerbys. The streets, in most of the lesser townships, are as yet unpaved. The avenues are made of heavily packed dirt and rock, and the gutters lining them are dug very deep. At intervals, massive iron storm drains are spread, not only in lengths down the curbsides, but sometimes as huge rectangular or square grids embedded in the center of intersections. They are affectionately labeled 'the sith gates,' for their corroded metal, and seeming bottomlessness. As the skies drench the area, they swallow all the flowing water like a dark lord's thirst for power.

"The city engineers took any possible steps to avoid any small, lone-standing objects that could be defeated by the harsh winds. They kept in mind the climate, and respectfully designed around it. Streets are illuminated with banks of bright lamps that are placed flush with the outer walls of the buildings, eliminating poles. Awnings and roof outcroppings are nonexistent, as are chimneystacks, vent pipes and power lines. Fire escapes are inside the walls; power conduits are grounded and well marked. Entrances are built deeper into the building, providing almost three or more meters of recessed and covered area before the door.

"The buildings themselves are not anything impressive. Most are one- or two-story affairs; simple, inelegant and obviously engineered for function rather than fashion. They are also generally identical. Windows, signs, and doorways are the only details that set one apart from the other. As they were all made from the same type and color of materials, the beige and browns of the skyline bear few outstanding features. The town, of a population around thirty thousand, is structurally low to facilitate the landing bays at the local skyports. Due to the weather, approach and landing for ships is difficult and dangerous enough, without having great obstructions to contend with. The highest point is the tower, brilliantly adorned with red and yellow navigational beacons, that show lazily through the occasional mist, fog, and curtains of rain. Since the world is so inhospitable, it's inhabitants have to be, in some ways, hospitable to it. For the harsh and dangerous world of Veina has shown it can win any natural battle, hands down."

Now, once again, it may seem like I overwrote. There is actually no such thing - if you feel you've written too much, don't stop. Keep going until you can't continue, then pull out what you feel are the best parts, the parts that will get your point across to the players the best.


That pretty much concludes this little starter lesson. Basically, the key things to remember are the following:

      1. The definition of a good description can be this: The art of expressing a false environment and/or situation to another in such a way as to convince that person they are actually within and experiencing that environment and/or situation. Try to keep that in mind, and use that as a goal when writing.
      2. Don't forget to appeal to the sense of the players when trying to transport them to another world or situation.
      3. Start with some key elements, then build each one. Remember to tie these elements together where appropriate, to keep the environment you are trying to convey seamless.
      4. The three resources are the best when writing descriptions... accept no substitutes.
        • A dictionary. I use the WWWebster Dictionary, an online one.
        • A thesaurus. This is a decent online version.
        • Your mind. Don't sell it short - when given ample time, it can invent the impossible.

         

I hope this has been some help to you, and if you ever feel particularily stuck on something, feel free to send it over. As time allows, I'd be happy to look it over and help you in any way I can. Otherwise, good luck to you in your writing and game designing, and may the force be with you.

- Nealos

 

 

This is an original work by Tim "Nealos" Salam. Note that descriptive text included are exerpts from a work in progress.

All works on this page © 1998-1999 Star Wars Supplement Resource Center menu /email Nealos