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Whill Dark Lord of the Jedi (Owner/Admin)
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Joined: 14 Apr 2008 Posts: 10297 Location: Columbus, Ohio, USA, Earth, The Solar System, The Milky Way Galaxy
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Posted: Mon Jul 13, 2015 8:02 pm Post subject: |
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Welcome to the board, TheH@mM3r!
TheH@mM3r wrote: | Ok, here goes. I have separated the edits into chapters, listed the page number, and then a section of the text before and after so it is easier to find. I have underlined the error and listed the type of edit parenthetically. N.B. I use WB as a shortening for word break.
PS. Really enjoying simply reading this Guide, let alone using it in a future game. Thanks for all your hard work...
That's it for now as I took a break while I was waiting for forum access. Now that I have access I will get back to chipping away if this is the kind of thing you find helpful. |
This is definitely helpful! Once an updated edition is made I'll print it.
And I know who to run any future documents I make by before I release them. ![Wink](images/smiles/icon_wink.gif) _________________ *
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cheshire Arbiter-General (Moderator)
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Joined: 04 Jan 2004 Posts: 4834
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Posted: Mon Jul 13, 2015 11:01 pm Post subject: |
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I think that TheH@mM3r is quickly becoming my new favorite guy. _________________ __________________________________
Before we take any of this too seriously, just remember that in the middle episode a little rubber puppet moves a spaceship with his mind. |
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TheH@mM3r Cadet
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Joined: 09 Jul 2015 Posts: 4
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Posted: Tue Jul 14, 2015 11:32 pm Post subject: |
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Here we go
Chapter Four
pg 86 - course of duty shall be free, all illicit (should be "freed" to maintain tense (in Letter of Marque subsection)
pg 86 - take up arms agains the Empire (should be "against")
pg 86 - Second, Rebpublic privateers are (spelling)
pg 86 - left in an undefined moral gray area, howeer. (spelling)
pg 87 - Corporation on Corellia fo rBarrga the Hutt (should be "for Barrga")
pg 87 - Corellia aboard an experimentalstarship known as (WB)
pg 88 - There is inconsistency in your use of Italics regarding ship names in the entry for Jet Nebula
pg 88 - attempt a mutiny of Nebula but this (in this usage you should say "mutiny against Nebula")
pg 88 - mysterious character who purposely tries to appear (should be "purposefully" as you are describing his demeanor)
pg 88 - accepting things as them come without (should be "they")
pg 88/89 - The last paragraph for Jet Nebula is kind of repetitive, more jarring than others. Additionally there is an accidental line break near the end of the entry.
pg 90 - The Rebpublic and the Empire always (spelling)
pg 90 - they tried to stop the them from killing (delete "the")
pg 90 - the clone of Cinzia in all her life. (delete "in")
pg 94 - The artwork for Vette has a black background and obscures much of the entry
pg 100 - Expeditor usually changes a flat fee (should be "charges")
pg 100 - a much higher 10% of the bounty cut (consider revising to "a much higher bounty cut of 10%)
pg 101 - Braden's long and storie d career has (should be "storied")
pg 103 - Let the rest of the galaxy leve money on (should be "leave")
pg 104 - make the successful mercemary a mobile heavy (spelling)
pg 109 - The entries for Kaliyo Djannis and Raina Temple are in a different format and speak with a different voice than your other entries: they are less narrative, and more like a database entry
pg 109 - Similar to the above point, the background of Kaliyo's entry references other works/entries. Consider revising.
pg 111 - and the human centricExchange syndicate. (WB)
pg 111 - was destroyed it's sector chief, G0-T0 (should be "destroyed and its sector chief" (also note no apostrophe in its)
pg 111 - Hutt Cartel is on theHutt homeworld (WB)
pg 111 - crime war galaxy wid e against its (should be "galaxy-wide")
pg 112 - broker a treaty with theRepublic, but Toborro (WB)
pg 113 - had allied it's self indreicly with the Sith (should be "itself" and "indirectly")
pg 113 - Jedi Civil War whenTaris was destroyed (WB)
That does it for Chapter Four. |
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cynanbloodbane Commander
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Joined: 05 Dec 2014 Posts: 410 Location: Cleveland, Go Tribe!
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Posted: Wed Jul 15, 2015 11:12 pm Post subject: |
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TheH@mM3r wrote: | Here we go
Chapter Four
pg 86 - course of duty shall be free, all illicit (should be "freed" to maintain tense (in Letter of Marque subsection)
pg 86 - take up arms agains the Empire (should be "against")
pg 86 - Second, Rebpublic privateers are (spelling)
pg 86 - left in an undefined moral gray area, howeer. (spelling)
pg 87 - Corporation on Corellia fo rBarrga the Hutt (should be "for Barrga")
pg 87 - Corellia aboard an experimentalstarship known as (WB)
pg 88 - There is inconsistency in your use of Italics regarding ship names in the entry for Jet Nebula
pg 88 - attempt a mutiny of Nebula but this (in this usage you should say "mutiny against Nebula")
pg 88 - mysterious character who purposely tries to appear (should be "purposefully" as you are describing his demeanor)
pg 88 - accepting things as them come without (should be "they")
pg 88/89 - The last paragraph for Jet Nebula is kind of repetitive, more jarring than others. Additionally there is an accidental line break near the end of the entry.
pg 90 - The Rebpublic and the Empire always (spelling)
pg 90 - they tried to stop the them from killing (delete "the")
pg 90 - the clone of Cinzia in all her life. (delete "in")
pg 94 - The artwork for Vette has a black background and obscures much of the entry
pg 100 - Expeditor usually changes a flat fee (should be "charges")
pg 100 - a much higher 10% of the bounty cut (consider revising to "a much higher bounty cut of 10%)
pg 101 - Braden's long and storie d career has (should be "storied")
pg 103 - Let the rest of the galaxy leve money on (should be "leave")
pg 104 - make the successful mercemary a mobile heavy (spelling)
pg 109 - The entries for Kaliyo Djannis and Raina Temple are in a different format and speak with a different voice than your other entries: they are less narrative, and more like a database entry
pg 109 - Similar to the above point, the background of Kaliyo's entry references other works/entries. Consider revising.
pg 111 - and the human centricExchange syndicate. (WB)
pg 111 - was destroyed it's sector chief, G0-T0 (should be "destroyed and its sector chief" (also note no apostrophe in its)
pg 111 - Hutt Cartel is on theHutt homeworld (WB)
pg 111 - crime war galaxy wid e against its (should be "galaxy-wide")
pg 112 - broker a treaty with theRepublic, but Toborro (WB)
pg 113 - had allied it's self indreicly with the Sith (should be "itself" and "indirectly")
pg 113 - Jedi Civil War whenTaris was destroyed (WB)
That does it for Chapter Four. |
Please tell me somebody is paying you to edit actual publications! _________________ "Yes because killing the guy you always planned on usurping and killing anyways in order to save your own kid, totally atones for murdering a roomful of innocent trusting children." The Brain |
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shootingwomprats Rear Admiral
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Joined: 11 Sep 2013 Posts: 2686 Location: Online
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Posted: Thu Jul 16, 2015 9:39 am Post subject: |
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cynanbloodbane wrote: | Please tell me somebody is paying you to edit actual publications! |
Maybe I can get him to help me edit Star Wars Droids Sourcebook? _________________ Don Diestler
Host, Shooting Womp Rats
The D6 Podcast
http://d6holocron.com/shootingwomprats
@swd6podcast, Twitter |
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TheH@mM3r Cadet
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Joined: 09 Jul 2015 Posts: 4
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Posted: Thu Jul 16, 2015 2:22 pm Post subject: |
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Thanks for the positive feedback. No, I'm just an at-home dad with a hobby and a critical eye at the moment (though I am looking). Recently discovered the REUP edition and that there was a dedicated community around this small piece of my youth and started diving back into things. Shootingwomprats, I'd be happy to look at the Droids Sourcebook if you like. I don't have a lot of table-time with the actual D6 system so I am not great at checking statblocks, but I can make sure your fluff reads smoothly and with a consistent tone. Plus, I am one of those people who is annoying about proper grammar usage. |
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cheshire Arbiter-General (Moderator)
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Joined: 04 Jan 2004 Posts: 4834
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Posted: Thu Jul 16, 2015 5:58 pm Post subject: |
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TheH@mM3r wrote: | Thanks for the positive feedback. No, I'm just an at-home dad with a hobby and a critical eye at the moment (though I am looking). Recently discovered the REUP edition and that there was a dedicated community around this small piece of my youth and started diving back into things. Shootingwomprats, I'd be happy to look at the Droids Sourcebook if you like. I don't have a lot of table-time with the actual D6 system so I am not great at checking statblocks, but I can make sure your fluff reads smoothly and with a consistent tone. Plus, I am one of those people who is annoying about proper grammar usage. |
All those skills and you're not getting paid? Yeah, you're an editor alright. _________________ __________________________________
Before we take any of this too seriously, just remember that in the middle episode a little rubber puppet moves a spaceship with his mind. |
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Mojomoe Commander
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Joined: 10 Apr 2010 Posts: 442 Location: Seattle, WA
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Posted: Thu Jul 16, 2015 6:00 pm Post subject: |
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Thank the Maker, this is SO useful!
Apologies, I lost account access for a short time otherwise I would have replied sooner.
Much of what you're catching was the fault of the find/replace function, it tended to remove spaces (?) when running some advanced regular expressions. Thank you for tracking all these down! Keep em coming!
Seriously, I can't overssate how useful this is. Good on ya! |
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cynanbloodbane Commander
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Joined: 05 Dec 2014 Posts: 410 Location: Cleveland, Go Tribe!
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Posted: Thu Jul 16, 2015 9:38 pm Post subject: |
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TheH@mM3r wrote: | Thanks for the positive feedback. No, I'm just an at-home dad with a hobby and a critical eye at the moment (though I am looking). Recently discovered the REUP edition and that there was a dedicated community around this small piece of my youth and started diving back into things. Shootingwomprats, I'd be happy to look at the Droids Sourcebook if you like. I don't have a lot of table-time with the actual D6 system so I am not great at checking statblocks, but I can make sure your fluff reads smoothly and with a consistent tone. Plus, I am one of those people who is annoying about proper grammar usage. |
Well from one at home Dad to another, Welcome to the Pit!
I was serious, though, I am quite sure you could pick up online (work from home) editing work with your attention to detail. _________________ "Yes because killing the guy you always planned on usurping and killing anyways in order to save your own kid, totally atones for murdering a roomful of innocent trusting children." The Brain |
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cheshire Arbiter-General (Moderator)
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Posted: Fri Jul 17, 2015 11:32 am Post subject: |
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Make it three of us in the "work at home dad" category.
But yes. You probably could do some freelance editing. _________________ __________________________________
Before we take any of this too seriously, just remember that in the middle episode a little rubber puppet moves a spaceship with his mind. |
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Whill Dark Lord of the Jedi (Owner/Admin)
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Joined: 14 Apr 2008 Posts: 10297 Location: Columbus, Ohio, USA, Earth, The Solar System, The Milky Way Galaxy
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cheshire Arbiter-General (Moderator)
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Posted: Fri Jul 17, 2015 11:14 pm Post subject: |
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Whill wrote: | cheshire wrote: | Make it three of us in the "work at home dad" category. |
I also work at a home and I'm a dad (but I work full time for a large corporation with set hours in a production-based environment, and my son goes to an all workday long school so he is not at home with me.) |
Still counts. _________________ __________________________________
Before we take any of this too seriously, just remember that in the middle episode a little rubber puppet moves a spaceship with his mind. |
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DarkJackal Cadet
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Joined: 31 Aug 2017 Posts: 20
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Posted: Sun Sep 03, 2017 2:15 am Post subject: |
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Some templates would be a nice touch, after all we a a touch thin on the ground dealing with templates for Mandos and Sith, plus things like the Imperial Reclamation Service which exist only in this era. |
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DarkJackal Cadet
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Posted: Sun Sep 24, 2017 12:46 am Post subject: |
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Since it is mentioned as a prerequisite for a power in the book it would be advisable to finally convert it. |
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cheshire Arbiter-General (Moderator)
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Posted: Sun Sep 24, 2017 3:07 pm Post subject: |
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DarkJackal wrote: | Since it is mentioned as a prerequisite for a power in the book it would be advisable to finally convert it. |
Which power are you referring to? _________________ __________________________________
Before we take any of this too seriously, just remember that in the middle episode a little rubber puppet moves a spaceship with his mind. |
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