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A SWU gambling game called “Flrrrp” (silliness)
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PostPosted: Sun Jan 01, 2017 12:58 pm    Post subject: A SWU gambling game called “Flrrrp” (silliness) Reply with quote

So I got bored and decided to come up with something silly to ring in the new year. Happy New Year everyone! Anyway:

Flrrrp is a sport where the contestants blow up standard-size latex balloons, pinch shut their valves, aim them, and then let them go. The object is to get one's balloons to travel through suspended rings and/or land within rings painted on the floor. The name Flrrrp is onomatopoeia for the sound a loosed balloon makes.

The game is played in a room which is ten meters long, four meters wide, and two-and-a-half meters high. The players stand behind a one meter-high wall which has two inflation nozzles on top of it. Players are not allowed to “break the plane” of the wall with any part of their bodies when loosing balloons; breaking the plane is a “foul” and each foul deducts four points from the offending player's score.

Points are scored when a player’s balloon passes through one or more rolling, tumbling, or spinning rings which are suspended by tiny repulsorlifts. Each ring has a color and diameter and different ones are worth different points. Points can also be scored by a deflated balloon landing within other rings painted on the floor. If such a balloon straddles the line between two floor circles, the player gets the points for both circles, though if a balloon straddles a line between a circle and a null area, it is worth zero points. The player who wins the best of three matches—a match is the best of three games, and each game is 180 standard seconds long—is the winner of the bout. This means the minimum games to be played to determine a victor is 4, and the maximum is 9. A tie at the end of 180 seconds adds 20 seconds to the clock; if there is a tie at the end of that time also, additions of 20 seconds continue until a winner is determined.

The balloons are inflated at nozzles because of various species' differences in inflation proficiency (Gands for example can inflate a balloon in under a second), and aiming (along with maximal inflation) is the trick. It is always better to release your first balloon before your opponent because the air eddies caused by previous balloons will influence the flight of the next one. Releasing first confers “advantage”. The player with advantage forces the second player to wait an extra second for the air eddies to subside before that player can fly his or her balloon without interference. The player who has advantage will continue to have it throughout the game unless the other player decides not to fill one of his or her balloons fully and lets it go before the first player would have in order to “take advantage” away from that player.

There are four sizes of floating rings, and they are worth 0.5, 1, 2, and 5 points respectively; each is successively smaller in diameter. The rings painted on the floor follow a similar point and diameter scheme, with three sizes worth 1, 2, and 5 points respectively. There are only nine 5-point rings; six afloat and three on the floor. Rings light up as a balloon passes through them.

Flrrrp is a huge betting sport amongst the Galactic gambling crowd, and matches are highly advertised and millions of credits can change hands over a single bout. The bouts (particularly those featuring colorful or famous players) are so popular that they are usually recorded and broadcast over the holonet. Some of the best players in the Galaxy may achieve celebrity status and become wealthy through endorsement contracts and/or paid bouts.

The origins of Flrrrp are unknown, though historians have found it mentioned in texts which are at least twelve thousand years old. Therefore, it must be at least that old, though it is probable that it is much older even than that. Analysis of Flrrrp mentions in historical texts have also proven that the game originated somewhere in the Core Worlds, and radiated outward from there until it reached Hutt Space. Once there, the Hutts, fascinated by this novel new game and entertained by the apparently hilarious sound of a balloon being loosed, decided to turn it into a “professional” sport. It is so popular with the Hutts that their word for flatulence became “flerp” at some point.
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Last edited by Error on Sun Jan 01, 2017 4:52 pm; edited 6 times in total
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PostPosted: Sun Jan 01, 2017 1:42 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

The only way this could be sillier is if the Hutts controlled all the Flrrrp gambling and betting. Seriously, how could gangsters like the Hutts not get in on that action?
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PostPosted: Sun Jan 01, 2017 1:46 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Sutehp wrote:
The only way this could be sillier is if the Hutts controlled all the Flrrrp gambling and betting. Seriously, how could gangsters like the Hutts not get in on that action?

Haha. Hey, maybe the Hutts could be the ones bankrolling or sponsoring the best players so they can practice rather than punch a clock. However, bad performance would likely be met with some serious consequences...
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PostPosted: Sun Jan 01, 2017 2:56 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Love it!! Might even have to get a league going on some backwater worlds..
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PostPosted: Sun Jan 01, 2017 4:39 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Clarified the rules a bit to help folks visualize what a match of Flrrrp might look like, and added a "history" section at the end which incorporates Sutehp's mention of Hutts being heavily involved with professionalism of the game.
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PostPosted: Sun Jan 01, 2017 6:10 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Error wrote:
...added a "history" section at the end which incorporates Sutehp's mention of Hutts being heavily involved with professionalism of the game.


While I'm sure that the detail about the Hutts adds to its awesomeness, nothing beats the fact that Flrrrp is also awesome because it's spelled without a single vowel. Shocked Very Happy Razz 8)

Error wrote:
[Flrrrp] is so popular with the Hutts that their word for flatulence became “flerp” at some point.


Which begs the question: Do Hutts even have @$$h0le*?
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PostPosted: Sun Jan 01, 2017 8:31 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

That is a super great question. We need Leland Chee.
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PostPosted: Sun Jan 01, 2017 9:23 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Error wrote:
That is a super great question. We need Leland Chee.


Dude, if he canonized Flrrrp, that would be beyond awesome.

As for my question, well, gastropods do have a waste expelling organ known as a nephridium (see here: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nephridium). I don't know what it looks like or if functions the same way as a human @$$h0le*. I guess I'll leave that to Leland Chee's discretion also.
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PostPosted: Mon Jan 02, 2017 8:58 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Sutehp wrote:
Error wrote:
That is a super great question. We need Leland Chee.


Dude, if he canonized Flrrrp, that would be beyond awesome.

As for my question, well, gastropods do have a waste expelling organ known as a nephridium (see here: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nephridium). I don't know what it looks like or if functions the same way as a human @$$h0le*. I guess I'll leave that to Leland Chee's discretion also.

Are Hutts gastropods? I doubt this has ever been addressed in canon or even Legends. Here is a site about snail and slug anatomy. They do have anuses, but they are located more toward the front of the creature than its rear.

If I were tasked with writing SWU copy about Hutt anatomy, I would just say the tips of their tails (or a place near the tips) opens up to pass any and all kinds of excrement. I would also say that it is the natural instinct of Hutts to bury the tips of their tails in sand or another loose medium before "going". There would also be a type of bacteria which grows in the slimy crevices of every Hutt that cleans the opening, thus being basically a "biological" butt wipe, and making it so Hutts (at least generally speaking) are fairly clean in this regard. Their armpits and mouths are another matter however.

But as for Hutt flatulence, we could just sidestep the question of whether or not they have anthropoid waste elimination anatomy by saying that Hutt flatulence (whether bubbles in the stomach or true waste gas) is passed out through the mouth. There are lots of Earth species who do this, and Hutts seem to belch constantly in the movies and in TCW.

Back on target though: how would Hutts control the gambling surrounding Flrrrp? They could control the bouts indirectly by paying various players to play against each other (like boxing on Earth) and advertising the bouts. In a Galactic sport such as this, where individuals far and wide get into it, have their favorite players, buy logo'ed gear, and maybe even play as amateurs, it would be really hard to "control" the betting.



What I could see is intimidation tactics (shakedowns) of big winners:

I was walking out of the market with my groceries. I was headed homeward. Then I saw four figures heading in my direction. At first I thought maybe it just looked like they were heading my way, but after they got close enough to where I could see their eyes, it became obvious. Their leader appeared to be a Rodian with either a whitish scald mark or other lighter-colored skin of his neck. I decided to make it easy and stopped and turned to face them. I didn't put down my groceries. They stopped about three meters away.

At first the Rodian and his goon friends just stood there grinning. Finally, the Rodian stepped forward and addressed me in broken Basic: "You are Wulfa Lehan, are you?" I nodded. The Rodian continued. "Tetramagua the Hutt noticed you won 22 million betting the Flrrrp. Since your territory is in her, and also her good graces, you owe her tribute of—let's say—five percent. Now, I must tell you. We can easy way this, or," the Rodian's hand drifted down toward something like a taser on his belt, "we can hard way it."

"What do you mean 'let's say' five percent?" I asked. "How much is five percent of 22 million anyway?"

The Rodian didn't know the answer and that was clear. He glanced back at one of his goons. The alien just shrugged. The other two did the same.

"Well, whatever amount is five percent of 22 million," continued the Rodian, obviously somewhat disgusted, "is due in two local weeks. You can math it later."

"So the 23rd?" I asked.

The Rodian evidently could do the math on this one, albeit slowly. "Yes. The 23rd," he agreed after a few seconds. I thought I could detect hesitance. There had been the hugeness of adding 14 to 9.

As the Rodian stood gloating, one of the goons, a Dressellian, stepped forward. He was holding the biggest blaster rifle I had ever seen. "We'll be coming back then to collect," he said. "And let me tell you, my friend, it is in your best interests to have it with no strings around it." The Dressellian hadn't mastered Basic either, apparently—or at least the idiom.

As the four goons walked away, I watched them disgustedly. They were laughing and playfully pushing one another here and there. After a minute I headed back home. I still lived in one of the tenements because I hadn't had time to shop for a new residence yet, and I wasn't even sure I would be staying on Kafane. However, now I needed a new plan. After putting my groceries away, I went to my personal terminal and called my sister.

"Do you know what time it is here?" she asked, rubbing her eyes.

"I do, but this is sort of an emergency."

Her head snapped up. She was alert. "Are you in trouble?" she asked.

"It's less trouble than it is just plain robbery."

"I don't follow," she replied. "What do you need?"

"I need a ship. I can't buy one here or they'll notice it and know exactly what I'm up to. I need you to send me one, or come get me yourself."

"I can do that. How long do you have?"

"Until the 23rd."

"The 23rd," she repeated slowly. "And this couldn't wait until morning?" she asked.

Before I could reply, she disappeared and the screen flashed 'Connection Terminated 122c due'. I stared at it for a while and then I paid it and turned my chair to look out the window. In the grassy plaza below, I could see a large flock of birds pecking the soil. Someone had obviously brought a bag of birdseed and thrown it all over the plaza again. They liked that the sh*t ghetto was actually covered in sh*t. Bird sh*t. I turned back to my terminal and went to the holonet search page.

"Tell me about Tetramagua the Hutt," I entered. I knew I would get nothing but that was not so. Apparently there is a central intelligence database of Hutts and their positions in the families kept by the Twi'leki. I was free to look at Tetramagua. This was a young but powerful (and lucky) Hutt who was notorious for being huge in entourage and had many favors owed to him by virtue of entities asking for his help.

...
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Last edited by Error on Wed Jan 04, 2017 6:42 pm; edited 1 time in total
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PostPosted: Mon Jan 02, 2017 1:22 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I dunno much about how the Mafia controls/influences sports betting, but one way they "control" the betting on boxing (according to the TV shows and movies I've seen; not the most reliable source) is like your short story: The Mafia goes up to a boxer and tells him to throw a fight or three or else they'll break his legs (or worse).
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PostPosted: Wed Jan 04, 2017 5:47 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Sutehp wrote:
I dunno much about how the Mafia controls/influences sports betting, but one way they "control" the betting on boxing (according to the TV shows and movies I've seen; not the most reliable source) is like your short story: The Mafia goes up to a boxer and tells him to throw a fight or three or else they'll break his legs (or worse).

Yep. It's all shakedowns for "protection money" and intimidation. What our federal government calls "racketeering". The good thing about it is that if you pay, you'll have a Hutt in your corner, at least until another payment is due.
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PostPosted: Wed Jan 04, 2017 6:08 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Error wrote:
Sutehp wrote:
I dunno much about how the Mafia controls/influences sports betting, but one way they "control" the betting on boxing (according to the TV shows and movies I've seen; not the most reliable source) is like your short story: The Mafia goes up to a boxer and tells him to throw a fight or three or else they'll break his legs (or worse).

Yep. It's all shakedowns for "protection money" and intimidation. What our federal government calls "racketeering". The good thing about it is that if you pay, you'll have a Hutt in your corner, at least until another payment is due.


Nah, the Hutt isn't in your corner in that case. If anything, you're in his corner. Once you make that first payment, he owns you. (Having someone in your corner means that he's an ally, like a trainer is in a boxer's corner, giving him advice and encouragement during a fight.) A Hutt who makes you pay protection money is (by definition!) not your ally. Razz
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PostPosted: Thu Jan 05, 2017 2:44 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

It all depends on the agreement. If the Hutt wishes to protect a "client" at the cost of 10% more money, he or she is certainly free to levy that tax. Or whatever cost or lack thereof for protection or no protection. But then it might go the other way too where the more you pay the more unsavory sh*t you have to do on behalf of your new "master." PC's with a high Bargain skill might talk a Hutt into protecting someone temporarily for money.
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PostPosted: Thu Jan 05, 2017 3:25 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Error wrote:
It all depends on the agreement. If the Hutt wishes to protect a "client" at the cost of 10% more money, he or she is certainly free to levy that tax.


Um, no. That's extortion.

Error wrote:
Or whatever cost or lack thereof for protection or no protection. But then it might go the other way too where the more you pay the more unsavory sh*t you have to do on behalf of your new "master." PC's with a high Bargain skill might talk a Hutt into protecting someone temporarily for money.


If you're talking about bargaining, what you said makes sense. But if you're talking about extortion, then there's no "agreement." If a Hutt coerces you into paying him for "protection," that, by definition, is not an agreement. Any sort of "agreement" made under duress isn't legally binding. Don't confuse extortion with a binding contract. It's one thing to hire a bodyguard. It's damn well another thing when a guy comes up to you and says "You need protection. Pay me and I'll make sure you get protected. If you don't pay me, well, I can't guarantee someone won't destroy you and everything you love."

If a guy is trying to threaten you or is implying threats to you while he's trying to make a deal with you, that's extortion. That's not a valid agreement. It's because of stuff like this that Hutts are crimelords.

While all the stuff that Hutts do in Hutt Space might be "legal" in the terms that there's no law in Hutt Space forbidding what the rest of the galaxy considers criminal, there's no way that extortion, slaving, drug running and gunrunning, along with all the other unsavory things going on in Hutt Space (and elsewhere in the galaxy) can be considered moral or good. The Hutts do all that stuff not because they consider it moral or good, but because they can and there's nothing to stop them.

Just because a Hutt doesn't care about morality doesn't excuse them from committing immoral acts. And just because there's no law enforcement (or any law whatsoever) in Hutt Space doesn't excuse Hutts (or anyone in their employ) from (otherwise-)criminal acts that harm people.

TL;DR: If you're paying a guy who forces you to do bad stuff, that's not a valid contract or agreement. In that case, he owns you.
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